Blocking Negative Energy | Dealing With Toxic People

Hello Beautiful Being!

Today for this Monday Message, we are going to talk about what to do when someone triggers you - how to handle toxic people in your life.

This is a question from my Instagram community, someone mentioned a situation at work where there was someone at work being let go.

This person ended up lashing out at the other people who were handling the situation, being very verbally abusive.

I want to talk about this topic kind of in relation to that situation, but also just being triggered in general and how to handle that.

I will not be talking about what a trigger is, and I am not going to get into what happens in the nervous system when you are triggered.

That could actually be an entirely separate episode but what I am going to talk about are some both spiritual, mental, emotional and practical steps you can take when you feel that you are being triggered.

What I mean by that is when you feel that your whole system is being put into fight, flight, or freeze mode because of something that somebody else is doing or said to you.

So the first thing that I want to mention is the realization that everybody is simply doing the best that they can with the tools that they have access to with the resources and practices that they have access to.

This realization has completely changed the way that I interact with other people and the way that I go about my life.

Remembering that not everybody has a spiritual practice, not everybody knows that their mindset, and that their belief system is truly what's determining their reality.

Understanding that not everybody knows that their actions and their words, impact this energetic field that we are all a part of.

When you realize, this person literally has no idea or this person just does not have access to the tools to handle their emotions appropriately, that will change the way that you interact with those people.

Step two is loving them anyway.

I'll give you an example later of how I do that through a practice that I have called the love bubble.

So my dad used to trigger me a lot.

He and I are both spiritual, but he's very religious.

When we would have conversations about religion or spirituality, he would say there's only one way.

That completely goes against all of my work.

I would get into this place where I would like want to be in fight mode, but I don't want to fight him about it.

I want him to believe what I believe. I want him to understand what I believe.

But guess what, that is not my job.

My job is not to convince anybody to believe what I believe, my job is not to convince anybody that I'm right, or they're wrong or anything like that.

My job is to love.

My job is to love him. My job is to love that person, no matter what they're going through, no matter what tools and resources they have access to, no matter what their belief system is.

That has been a game changer for me.

Because when you are the most loving person in the room, when all you have to give out is love, you are also the most powerful person in the room.

I’ll give you an example of this in my own life.

A few years ago, I was working at a summer camp.

We were in a group meeting and I brought up something that a co-worker did that I didn't think was appropriate.

He just blew up at me and he started yelling and he was getting super emotional and angry.

I just sat there and loved him from a distance, right?

I was just like, “Oh my gosh, he literally has no resources to handle this situation. He doesn't have the ability to manage his emotions right now.”

And guess what? That's okay. I'm gonna love him anyway.

It's not that I accepted what he was saying to me.

But I grew up in a really religious home, and I was always taught to turn the other cheek.

Like if somebody were to hit you, just turn the other cheek.

But now as an adult, I allowed him to express himself in a way, the only way that he knew how, which was pretty toxic.

But I had an energy of love towards him.

I just sat there and allowed him to do that, but I'm not going to absorb it.

That brings me into my next point, which is my love bubble.